Posts Tagged ‘battle of the sexes’

Again: I am a man,

apparently – according to this.

Except…not all high-percentile men like to work with computers (I can just hear curses from my Regional Director, trying to prevent his laptop from freezing during a Zoom meeting) and altogether, a lot of them prefer to work with people (as in “to be a boss, rather than designer or drafter”).

On the other hand, the worst (or the best, depending on your pov) manipulators I met were men.  On yet another hand, pathetic blame-the-women’ losers and their excuses (“she bruise easily”) are men, too…

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Лениво листая длинную – за 250 комментов – перепалку в русском журнале, нашла две чеканные формулировки:

* не создавай себе сатрапа

*ничто не красит жизнь женщины, как своевременная ротация мужчин!

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Это я пытаюсь найти цензурное слово-marker:

Мужчина, благодушно перечисляя события своей биографии, ставит за «сменил работу» – «женился на своей бывшей ученице».

Не стыдится, не скрывает (никто ж не тянул за язык, про «ученицу» сам добавил). Вовсе наоборот – гордится. Мужики – кагбе похваляется имярек – гляньте, какой я Пигмалион. Как я ловко юной девке мозги запудрил. В рот смотрит (и не только). Научаю уму-разуму, дома я бог, учитель и ПартияНашРулевой, не то что вы, подкаблучники.

Оч. надеюсь, ученица быстро поумнела и прибавила кое-что к багажу знаний наставника.


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I am going through my periodic Nero Wolfe phase.

Today is a third weekend in a row; I even skipped the gym for pleasures of A Man Alive.

[…]they (Daumery & Nieder, a ficitonal haute couture house – Etat) had there that afternoon six of the girls I was waiting to marry, if you count Cynthia Nieder, and I don’t see why you
shouldn’t. Each of them made around a dozen appearances, some more, some less, and as for picking and choosing, if the buyers were as far up a stump as I was by the time it was over the only way they could possibly handle it was to send in an order for one of each.

As I explained to Wolfe in the office that evening, after I had reported a blank and we were conversing, “Imagine it! After the weddings I will of course have to take a good-sized apartment between Fifth and Madison in the Sixties. On a pleasant autumn evening I’ll be sitting in the living room reading the newspaper. I’ll toss the paper aside and clap my hands, and in will come Isabel. She will have on a calf-exposing kitchen apron with a double hemline and will be carrying a plate of ham sandwiches and a pitcher of milk. She will say seductively, ‘Two-ninety-three,’ make interesting motions and gestures without spilling a drop, put the plate and pitcher on a table at my elbow, and go. In will come Francine. She will be wearing slim-silhouette pajamas with padded shoulders and a back-flaring hipline. She’ll walk and wave and whirl, say ‘Nine-thirty-one’ four times, and light me a cigarette and dance out. Enter Delia. She’ll be dressed in a high-styled bra of hand-made lace with a billowing sweep to the—”

“Pfui,” Wolfe said curtly. “Enter another, naked, carrying a basket full of bills, your checkbook, and a pen.”

He has a personal slant on women.

Marvelous! admit it.

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Разговариваем с Алисочкой:
— Она сначала была очень ватной, а потом нашла счастье в оппозиционном лагере.
— Это нормально, политические убеждения женщины часто находятся на кончике члена.
— Не у всех так, — возражает Алиса, — у меня нет.
— У меня тоже нет, у меня там музыкальные пристрастия.
— Да, у женщин там может быть что угодно. И мужчины, — толерантно добавляет Алиса, — сплошь и рядом подцепляют убеждения и вкусы половым путём.
Я задумалась, начала отделять личное от натраханного (не считая детско-юношеских накоплений), и так получается, что из своего у меня только котики. Остальное, что ни возьми, сформировалось под влияниями. Вот ужас-то.

Свежачок у Марты Кетро

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[…] Вы так спрашиваете – как же так можно. А я всем вот так вопрошающим спокойно отвечаю: “Ну вот такие мы были дуры”.


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This was bound to happen, what’s with various Harvey W. in multiple industries. Why would Architecture and Design be an exception? Recent disgrace of Richard Meier – expulsion from his firm that still carries his name manifested the start of the hunt. Or revenge of the harassed. Whatever is your point of view.

As a young woman in the architecture field, I became acutely aware that my gender and my youth and my looks and charm were instrumental to the development of my career. I became very conscious of flirting in interviews. I remember thinking, I need to let this famous architect hug me. I don’t want him to hug me, but I’m a young woman, and I don’t want to alienate this powerful man. Everything is done by network. So if you get a reputation for being difficult, maybe this powerful man won’t introduce you to another powerful man, and he won’t introduce you to another powerful man, and there goes your career.

But then there is this:

When I graduated from architecture school more than a decade ago, it was understood that we were all going to suffer for the next 15 to 20 years, we’d never sleep, we’d be underpaid, we’d work until midnight … Our professors modeled this for us, and architecture firms reinforced it.

There’s this idea that architecture is a magical, important contribution to the world that is undervalued. We’re trained to view suffering as deeply related to the work. So something like harassment is easy to dismiss as part of the sacrifice. And even when it’s absolutely wrenching and not easy to dismiss, the culture of genius in architecture remains. Many firms are structured around a “Great Man” with a singular vision, which lowly employees are tasked with carrying out. It’s very top-down. This can create power imbalances that make junior employees vulnerable to exploitation, whether it’s harassment, pay inequality, or something else.

Then, if someone gets to the point where they are moderately high up at a firm, and they’re harassed, I can completely understand why they wouldn’t want to say anything, because if they go up against someone that powerful, they could risk everything. I wouldn’t want to take that risk.


By Anonymous as told to Fast Co Design

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