An acquaintance of long standing recently started a new job. He became head of marketing or some such for a company that dubs into many cups: they are in construction management, and also a millwork shop, and sometimes a go-between brokers for architects and designers and their clients.
This acquaintance was very happy with new place, and he had an idea to introduce me to his boss, for possible employment opportunity. I sent out my resume; it was mid-July.
First he called to say his boss will call in a few minutes.The call came in 3 hrs, right when I was talking to MY boss in the office. During the call the guy asked for my email; when I said – Steve knows it, we have been corresponding (besides, it’s written right on top of my resume!) – he sounded disappointed that I didn’t dictated it over the phone (which I hate to do, because people mangle it 90% of the time). I got his email in 2 days. It said: I will call you to talk about possible employment, is Saturday morning good? I had a Pilates class scheduled, so it wasn’t, but I said it was. He called and spoke about himself for half-n-hr. At the end he asked couple of questions about my previous workplaces – even though he had my resume in front of him. Then he announced that he’s opening a new branch of business where he needs a person with my exact qualifications – and invited me for an interview. Sure, I said, where and when? -I’ll send you an email – said Steve’s boss.
Then followed hilarious week of coordination of the day, time and address of his interview – because he is such a busy man, you see – so finally his assistant Bacardi (not her real name) sent me an official Meeting invite, I responded in the affirmative. The place is in an industrial area, 25min walk from a subway station, and because I declined to leave the office in the middle of a work day, we finally agreed to meet at 8am – he said he’ll pick me up at the station.
A day before the meeting I got a word from Bacardi that unexpected conflict arose and he would like to postpone the meeting. Fine, I said, to …? Oh, if not tomorrow at 3pm (!) then it must be after his vacation, after August 17th.
Yesterday I emailed to confirm the meeting. Instead of “yes”, “no”, “I will be happy to finally see you” I got a response: I am available to talk in the morning, call me at 8am.
Naturally, at 8am I was underground in the subway, so I called at 9; got a voicemail instead, and left a message that I prefer email and that I’ll be out on appointments till 2pm.
I came back to 3 messages from him and his assistant, all received before 2pm.
When I was in the middle of conference I got a call on my cellphone. Steve’s boss, announced by assistant, wanted to talk then and there.
OK, I apologized, said this is urgent, went out to the corridor and listened to Steve’s boss.
S’B: Where do you want to meet?
I: Last time we agreed that I’ll come to your office in the morning. If this is still convenient, let’s set a time. Is 8am good for you?
S’B: Which office? I have two – one in Manhattan, on 1st Ave and one in [industrial zone in the boro]. Time – any time in the morning is good! Today, f.i., I came to work at 6:30am! People came to see me at 7am, and I was already up and running! Come anytime
I: If you don’t mind I prefer Manhattan, as I work in downtown and I start in the office at 9am. Is 8am good for you?
S’B: No-no, Manhattan is inconvenient, I am in my office at Industrial Zone! I drive everywhere! If you have difficulty to get here than I have doubts you’ll be of any use to me! I never use public transportation!
I: …so, 8am in your office? Will you pick me up at the station as we agreed before or should I just walk to the building? And what day – is Friday good?
S’B: No-no, Fri not good, it must be some other day, probably next week. All right, I’ll meet you at the station and we will sit somewhere in a bar or a restaurant and talk.
I: I’m not quite sure a bar is an appropriate place for a work-related conversation. I prefer your office. Could you remind me what is the open position you want to discuss with me? I’d like to come prepared.
S’B: There is no position as such…I want to talk to you, to see you, to understand what makes you tick, and I’ll make a position especially for you, that suits your particular talents. But Fi is no good, as I have a meeting at 10 and I have another at..
I: I, too, am busy in my office – in fact, I was at a conference when you called – please tell me when it is convenient for you to meet me, and I’ll shuffle my schedule for you
S’B: My assistant will call you, I don’t know when precisely I have any time
[and he suddenly disappeared. No good byes, nothing. I hung up, too]
I returned to my desk – here’s another call. It’s his assistant , different one, by name of Helen (not her real name). I wonder what happened to Bacardi. She sounds pissed off: apparently, he transferred call to her, w/o letting me know, and she picked up an empty signal. “Hi, can you tell me when you want to meet Mr. Steve’s Boss?” -Sorry, I was under impression you will tell me when HE is available”. -Oh, OK, I’ll look up his schedule and email you in a moment”.
In 3 minutes sharp I got an email.
” We greatly appreciate your time but Mr.S’B doesn’t see you have an opportunity with our company, as you will have difficulty to get to his office for a meeting”.
What in MF hell…