In a recent post Dustbury commented on a small poll on gender-related’ specifics in blogging that he found at WriterChick. One of the respondents pointed to difference of expression, and explained it by variation in psychological composition of men and women:
While men may relate to someone’s story, they don’t necessarily say too much about it[...] I rarely write one-liners when I comment. I want to share my knowledge and learn from theirs. I think men tend more towards networking, which is sharing information. Women lean more towards building communities, which is sharing wisdom.
In his characteristical neighborly laidback way Chaz admits to one-liners, and passes the evaluation of “wisdom vs. information” explanation onto the readers.
And this is what I’m going to do, too – giving you two examples to read. The situation (familiar to everyone who’s ever been hospitalized) is the same, the authors are of different genders, the variable is the way a sentiment is expressed.
In Deconstructing Harry, Woody Allen asks the prostitute he has hired how she likes her job and receives the usual reply. “It’s funny,” he says, “every hooker I meet says it beats the hell out of waitressing. Waitressing must be the worst job in the world.”
It’s not. Nursing is.
When I couldn’t pee and it went on for days, the nurse on duty couldn’t find my bladder. She went to get another nurse to help. The two of them stuck tubes up me, peering between my legs as though they were explorers on the Amazon River. “Where is it? It should be right THERE!”
They couldn’t find it. I started to worry that my bladder was now somewhere else. When they changed shifts, a new nurse, named Sol, rolled her eyes and promised “I find it.” She was a young Filipina with beautiful white teeth, and she knew how to find a bladder. [...] Morphine is constipating, as it turns out. My stomach was churning in agony but the ambulance had been ordered for 4 o’clock.
The nurse put me in an adult diaper, big enough for a 500 pound man. [...]The two young ambulance guys lifted me onto a gurney, showing great respect for my pain. One of them flirted with me a little, unaware of my shit-filled diaper.
Few questions (not an extensive list; your own tangential branching is very much welcome):
-without looking for additional information, tell me which of the excerpts belongs to a man, which – to a woman? -would you categorize the excerpt (and which one?) indicative of “sharing wisdom”? Or “sharing information”? -do these categories even apply? -if not, what does?
I’ll give you my own take in the comments.
Update:
Looks like the experiment isn’t going to be clean: one of the bloggers I excerpted chose to reveal her identity in this charming manner :
some crazy bitch who has been antagonizing me on another blog has now declared war (or just her level of craziness) by quoting from my Pain Journal on her own blog, in order to mock me. &
Hmmm…Usually people are grateful for every incoming link; but what do I know about habits of self-described Commie Wiccan Negroid Lesbians? I admit readily: not much.
She also left this comment [reproduced in full] in my moderation queue (which I’m going to report as spam to WordPress, whose platform she’s also using):
You have published part of my blog without permission. My blog is copyrighted material and I request that you remove this material at once.
Thanks.
Note the change of tone – she doesn’t call me “crazy bitch” and even says Thanks, like a good girl. Needless to say, I’m not removing any part of my post – all appropriate links were provided, and I reserve the right to interpret what I read in open access as I see fit.
Further update
I’ve got another comment, this time – nasty and hysterical, with implicit threats [not quoted here in full, but saved in my inbox as a precaution]: “Your failure to publish the comment is further proof of your hostility“[...]which she concludes with ” I urge you to increase your meds.” Talk about projecting… Anyway, this blog, including URL, name, email and IP is now blacklisted.
Which should not deter us from a [potentially interesting] discussion I outlined above.
Pretty amusing. Especially that anyone would think that anything on the Web was truly copyrighted, as in can’t use no matter what, etc. The second example, however, could have been a male, a gay, whom a gay attendant was flirting with.
But I really doubt the idea that women, basically speaking, write long, and men write short. Miriam, for instance, generally writes short. Wisdom vs information is just a fancy excuse for sexism.
Well, yes, Dick – on many counts.
You have no idea HOW amusing it is; maybe I’ll write a follow up tomorrow.
But let’s get to the really interesting stuff.
I left in the bit about attendant on purpose – to make the guessing game somewhat challenging. (Oops – just noticed, rereading it – I failed to erase the part about the cotton dress, in a hurry – my bad. Spoiled the whole effect, did I? I’ll fix it now)
What i think the 2 exempts relay is not the gender of their authors, but who the writer is. The ordeal is similar, the evaluation of it and the attitudes differ drastically. And I think this is generally the case, with any topic: when any possible clues of the gender identity are removed from the text, what comes through is the essence of personality.
And then – the style of writing.
My blog is copyrighted material…
ROFLcopter.
you’ve no idea!
Well, mine also is copyrighted, but so long as anything taken is attributed, I have no gripe, legal or otherwise. Even if the commentary on whatever is taken isn’t nice to me.
If the point was not that wisdom vs information is somehow indicative of one gender or the other, then I missed the point.
As for the dress, I figured it could have been a disguise for some reason unexplained.
I don’t see how any writing reveals who the author is. How they think, maybe, possibly even their level of education, but that’s about it.
Oh yes, of course, the dichotomy was exactly that, as it is clear from the link @Chaz. You were absolutely right about sexism being the underlying reason.
Writing reveals the personality of the author. Educaiton level, literary style, etc – that all is secondary, I think. First, the author’s emotions, reactions, instincts come through – the core of personality. Take Miriam, for instance, her famous “librarians went to lunch” story. Even if you didn’t know the writer is a woman, and all the related references are subdued – you would still first get the sense how she evaluates her lunching companions – and through this evaluation, indirectly, her own character. Then, of course, you derive additional pleasure from the way the story is written- the economic, precise way and the patience, the humor, and sort of ever-present silent rolleye. But – as you said – that all is not gender-specific.
Well, personality sometimes and character sometimes. But, you know, a skilled writer can write anything, project any character or personality or anything at all. Disguise everything about him/herself, whatsoever. IMHO. ;-)
When I said short versus long, above, what I meant was that “wisdom,” so-called, usually is direct, succinct, therefore, generally, short. Information usually takes more space. Miriam gets right to the point. Akaky, for example, goes on and on.
Oh no, here, I, think, you’re wrong. Yes, good writer can step into imaginary character’s shoes, absolutely – for the time he’s writing the story. Even a novel. But to keep at it month after month, year after year, as many excellent bloggers do – don’t think it’s happening. He’ll betray himself somewhere, some time.
Can you imagine, for instance, that Lileks is an incredibly talented 25yo Asian manicurist? And she not only invented the whole elaborate conglomerate of sites/blogs/newspaper/choir/Gnat-raising/dog-walking/etc.etc – but kept up at it for – what, 10 years? Without a single slip? Even international spies couldn’t perform so well.
Akaky and Miriam have their personal styles, sure. Do you have any doubts Akaky is capable of writing concisely, “to the point”? I’ve none. It’s an art; I can only sit there with a gaping mouth and admire those 3-paragraph-sentences, like winding streets in a mountain village.
But didn’t you have a mental image of the writer after a couple of examples – not how they look, but the way they think, react, what would they say in certain situation, etc?
Sometimes I surf journals @LJ, looking for interesting additions to my “buddy list” – very rarely it takes second page to get an idea about the author. Even if the “info” form left empty.
I suppose you’re right about a blogger ultimately revealing him/herself. But you might need a lot of patience to stick around to find out. Some people prefer masks, like Akaky, whatever his real name is. I could see him as a droll firefighter, instead of a librarian. Seriously. Almost.
I don’t have an honor to be acquainted with any firefighters, but something tells me their drollness (?) is of different nature.
They do tend to be more direct than sly.
I think I’m pretty good at guessing whether an anonymous writer is male or female but I have been wrong a few times. I’m not sure what it is exactly that clues me in to the writer’s gender. Both men and women can be either wordy or brief and to the point. We think of women as revealing more of their emotions but some men let it all out on the Internet where they can be anonymous. But still, there’s something.
Oh yes, I agree, there is something. Maybe because my examples are rather hasty and do not make a perfect quiz. But generally I, too, can guess. Although there had been a couple of blunders.
Still, I think the first example – which authored by a man – would rather belong to “wisdom” category”, and the second (that leaves us with a woman) – to “sharing information”. In any case, there is nothing of “building community” there- and the only emotion conveyed is rage.
But what i wanted to show, mostly, that a written excerpt revelas not the gender but a personality; that’s what we were discussing with Dick, above. What do you think about it?
Heh! Were these excerpts written in Russian, this would be the most simple exercise!
A friend of mine from Pyatigorsk noted this a few years back when we were trying to guess the gender of a blog author.
Grammatically speaking – yes, much simpler than in English. But you can still spot the pointers in English text – if you go read the full posts in my 2 examples, for instance.
I came across a Russian blog on LJ, written by a trial lawyer and mostly reflection on real-life court cases, where the author freely switches from male to female gender, and the topic can not be confidently attributed to either.
oh my lord! you are full of yourself, it’s hilarious!
sonja – go get laugh out the doors, then when you ready to behave as over 12, return to the class and we’ll talk
‘you’ll be marked as spam, return when you’re ready to behave’ – really means agree with me or else, no? I understand that you believe that I don’t have the capacity to form an argument or peel back the layers of complexity that you think you see without even looking. that’s ok. I like your brain, it’s obviously a good one. But you’re mean. In life you need a heart working along with the brain, I think.
sonja: no, it doesn’t mean you have to agree with me. What it means you should learn some basic manners.
See, this is my space. Sort of like my parlor, a place I entertain guests in. I maintain – and expect – certain level of civility and courtesy. You came here uninvited, hurled offensive remarks at me, permitted yourself some rudely phrased and totally untrue accusations regarding my character, actions and motives based entirely on what you heard from a third party. Even now you’re making vocal evaluations of me that nobody asked you for; there might be some value in them- but to make me consider your opinions you have to earn my attention, and the way you express yourself is the wrong way to do it.
This is not behavior I’m prepared to tolerate.
but those basic rules of civility apply to you as well, when you enter someone else’s ‘parlor’, right? – that it is not ok for you, either, to hurl offensive, rude, accusatory remarks attacking someone’s character based on very little of anything. Because you have done that, you have to admit. If the basic manners are expected of both of us equally, I will concede that I have been unjustifiably rude, and offer my apologies.
Please offer some examples when I came, for the first time, on someone’s blog and rudely insulted the host for no reason whatsoever.
Etat – I will respond in a couple of days – you’re criteria ‘for the first time’ is hair splitting. but, whatever, right now I have to go to bed and then out of town for 2 days, if i have a chance i will continue this conversation before I get back, otherwise, talk with you in a few days. be well.
Er, excuse me, sonja: I just described your behavior. Your first comment here was a personal baseless attack on the host of this blog. Not a sensible way to make a good first impression.
Oh how about that. people – as in more than one person (do you know that you have quite a wide reputation?) – said to me, don’t even try to talk to this woman she ONLY WANTS THE LAST WORD. Well you can have it. It’s all yours.
Here you have it: I gave you a chance to alter your rudeness and you just blew it.
Good bye.